It can be difficult to understand the affect dementia has on your loved one. The bookcase analogy has been designed as a way to understand what is happening to your loved ones’ memories on their journey with dementia.
Imagine your loved one is standing next to a bookcase that’s as tall as them. It’s filled with books and each book represents a memory or fact they have learnt over the years.
The books at the very bottom of the shelf, by their feet, are their earliest memories, perhaps a day at the beach with Mum or playing with friends.
The shelf at their knees will contain memories from their 20’s. Maybe when they met their partner or welcomed their first child.
At their shoulders, are memories from their 60’s. Perhaps a family Christmas or meeting a grandchild for the first time.
The books at the very top, by their head, are their most recent memories, maybe what they last watched on TV or what they had for dinner.
Dementia rocks this bookcase, and as it rocks, the books at the top fall off easily. This explains why your loved ones short term memory may be affected first. As the dementia progresses, the bookcase continues to rock, emptying the top shelf, causing books to fall from the next shelf.
Your loved one may start to believe they are younger, perhaps in their 30’s or 40’s. The world was different back then and things worked differently, so your loved one will go about things differently, for example trying to make a cup of tea by putting the kettle on the hob, not knowing that it’s now electric. This is scary for any loved one to see but instead of telling them it’s wrong, they can be helped. Maybe you can buy them the whistling kettle to put on the hob, embracing their reality, rather than bringing them into yours.
While your loved ones memories are affected, their emotions and feelings are more resistant to dementia. For example, they may have forgotten that they got married or their retirement party but they remember those feelings of love and happiness. This goes the same for negative emotions and feelings. If you have an argument over something they will likely forget what the argument was about but they will remember how they felt during and after that argument.
By understanding and being aware of what is happening, you can help make your time with your loved a more positive experience to help them feel secure, loved and happy. Whether it’s, taking them out for a spot of lunch or, enjoying some music together, they may not remember what you did, but the will remember how they felt.
